Everything I Need to Know About Life, I Learned from Fantasy Gaming

1. Good and evil are always easily distinguishable.
2. If you see something you want, take it and kill whoever tries to stop you.
3. If you kill enough wildlife, eventually you will become unstoppable.
4. If you see some kind of device you don’t understand, mess with it.
5. Don’t intentionally insert jokes into your life (though an occasional funny moment is fine).
6. Adopt a reckless disregard for social custom, common decency, and the feelings of other humanoids.
7. The dead are for looting.
8. Excrete only for a joke. Eat only when you have to. Take every opprtunity to get sex or money, regardless of the risks.
9. The best things in life are plussed.
10. If you’re going someplace dangerous, always bring along a member of the clergy.
11. When in doubt, head underground and bring a big axe.
12. Dungeons facilitate gameplay.
13. Violence is probably the answer.
14. Always shrug off embarassment, even when running around naked in public or trying to haggle a merchant down to nothing.
15. If you’re broke, just hang out in a bar and wait for opportunity.
16. Don’t worry about dying, because you can always come back.
17. Pick up everything you find, no matter how useless it may seem, because it might be good for something someday and it isn't that annoying to have to carry it with you.
18. If the world’s largest game company seems to be giving you something for nothing, assume there are no strings attached.